


Chocolate Milk

by DoomKitteh



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Humor, I added to Nicole's misfortune., I made Nicole have a horrible day I'm so sorry, I'm sorry not sorry Nicole, None of it is angst I promise, One of those tumblr prompts, just flat out wtf not seriousness, so silly why this, yeah that tag makes total sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-07-18 12:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7314448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomKitteh/pseuds/DoomKitteh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicole walks in to Shorty's wanting a drink to relax, however the bartender has her so distracted that she doesn't even realize what she's asked for until it's too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a silly prompt I saw on tumblr a while back and I actually was writing it for some other fandom when of course this one just works out so much better. Who knew I'd write another of these so fast, I sure as hell didn't lol

All Nicole wanted was one drink. One drink to help her relax after her first week in Purgatory and one week of the most crazy, confusing and downright baffling occurrences as an officer. Unfortunately the only place in town to do that was Shorty’s, some old-west cowboy bar she really didn’t want to situate herself in, but she had little choice.

 

Nicole had to pause when she walked in, quickly identifying who had to be the local drunks, the college kids who definitely were not enrolled but telling their parents otherwise, and people taking monetary advantage of the people who had too many.

 

“This’ll be fun,” Nicole muttered to herself, grateful the seat she found was a far way as she could get to the boys hanging around, offering themselves off as some kind of god that the women would just have to love.

 

The man behind the bar gave her a nod of acknowledgment, before he turned to the four rowdy people in front of him. She took off her hat, finally realizing that maybe she should have left it in her car. The uniform was bad enough and she hadn’t even thought of going home first to change.

 

“Hey, sorry about the wait, what can I get for you?” A woman entered her vision and Nicole’s world instantly narrowed and she could only see the vision in front of her. The crop-top claiming ‘Shorty’s’ on the front and the cutest smile Nicole swears she’s ever seen.

 

She must have responded because the next words she heard were, “...If you’re sure that’s what you want? I mean we don’t have that in the bar but I do have some upstairs.”

 

“Um, sorry what?”

 

“Chocolate milk? Kind of a strange thing to ask for, but if you’re still on duty I guess that’s ok. No problem though, think of it as a welcome present,” the woman in front of her grinned before bounding off towards the stairs Nicole had just noticed. 

 

Groaning in embarrassment Nicole put her head down on the bar, “I did not just ask for chocolate milk.”

 

“I’m afraid you did,” a gruff laugh said to her left and Nicole turned her head to see the bartender she’d seen when she first sat down.

 

“Tell me no one else heard that,” Nicole pleaded.

 

“Just you, me, and Waverly.”

 

“Waverly?”

 

He pointed in the direction the woman had gone and laughed, holding out his hand, “Shorty.”

“Nicole,” she shook his hand trying to ignore the red in her cheeks.  _ Waverly? Cute name for the cute gal. _ A small dreamy grin formed on Nicole’s face and Shorty laughed again.

 

“Already in deep after ten seconds, good luck,” Shorty patted her on the shoulder and left to tend to other customers. Waverly entering Nicole’s line of sight seconds later.

 

“Here ya go, one chocolate milk for the newly arrived Officer,” Waverly set down the glass proudly and Nicole didn’t have the heart to mention that she wasn’t even a fan of milk. It was her own damn fault anyway.  _ How did I order something I don’t even like? _

 

“Much appreciated, I’m Nicole. Nicole Haught.” 

 

“Waverly.” Waverly hesitated, a shout to the left grabbing Waverly’s attention and forcing Nicole to stop staring as a group of guys started getting rowdy, “I hope you have a good evening, Nicole.” Nicole was seconds from getting up to help, but Waverly barged over, hands on her hip, the most adorable glare Nicole had ever seen and whatever she had shouted made the group look away in shame and got them to wander back to whatever hole they crawled out of.

 

Standing up to leave, she set out ten dollars and, after brief hesitation, her card as well. “I am in so much trouble.” 


	2. A Bad Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole is just having a really awful day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! this was not intended, but hey, the idea came up so here you are :)

Nicole was having the worst fucking day.

_The Worst._

She really should have skipped this tiny ass town for any other tiny ass town. Who the hell decides to up and move to some place called Purgatory anyway? As far as she can tell she’s the newest face they’ve had in at _least_ a decade.

Mrs. Brimsby has a pet lizard. A very specific type of lizard that Mrs. Brimsby lectured Nicole about when Nicole called it “an iguana of some-sort”. She of course doesn’t remember anything because it’s 103F/39.4C, and as it turns out Mrs. Brimsby doesn’t have air conditioning and Nicole has no idea how this old lady hasn’t been taken to the hospital for heat stroke because she’s sweating a river and Nedley vetoed her whole shorts idea (she was very close to even mentioning tank-tops but while she can get away with a few buttons, there’s only so much of the line she can toe).

Fifteen minutes later she’s actually really grateful that she can’t wear shorts (or tanks for that matter). However, not so grateful that she’s the only officer in Purgatory that is somehow small enough to crawl under houses, because that’s where she currently is.

Under Mrs. Brimsby’s house.

She’s trying her damndest to not panic. It’s dark, musty, and filled with bugs. She knows because there’s spider webs, with dead bugs. Also fresh live ones that are struggling to get out. Plus the ones she’s seen scatter in front of her as she crawls towards the middle of the area because the damn fucking lizard knows it’s too damn hot and decided to burrow under ground right in the middle of the damn house.

She’s several feet away from finally getting the thing (she will _not_ call it by it’s name, the words Miss Fluffer Pollywinkton will never leave her lips) when she hears, more than feels, a wet squishing sound and it’s mere seconds after that the smell hits her.

Nicole closes her eyes and wants to take deep, calming breaths, but the smell is so repugnant that it’s hard to keep from gagging. She briefly wonders how she didn’t smell it before, but she refuses to look at whatever it is and finally reaches the damn lizard.

She lets out a long string of curses the entire time she crawls back out. The pet has latched onto her arm, claws and all, and she is crawling backwards because trying to turn around was not an option.

When she finally sees sunlight she nearly sobs in relief.

It took ten more minutes to get Miss Fluffer Pollywinkton off of her arm, the large reptile wouldn’t uncurl itself for anything.

She’s on her way back to the precinct to get a change of clothes and hopefully enough time for at least a sink bath (whatever it was that she crawled through has lingered and she’s pretty sure she cannot last the day smelling like she bathed in the remains of skunks and opossums) when a call comes in about an 11-24 and she’s the only officer who is remotely close to the situation.

She hangs her head in defeat, a small whimper of protest leaving her lips, before she responds and lets dispatch know that she is on her way.

*

Nicole finally finds the disabled vehicle and she sits in her car for at least two minutes, just staring in disbelief.

It’s now bordering 110F/43.3C, according to her dashboard, and Audwin Malec has somehow managed to get stuck in the mud.

_Where did the mud even come from? What the hell?_

She spends the next ten minutes arguing with him that they do indeed need a tow-truck because she sure as hell isn’t going to try and push this car out of the mud. She’s attempted this situation many times before because her and her sister are stubborn idiots, especially together. So Nicole knows that it never works. Someone always gets dirty and you always need a tow. Considering the start of her day she does not want to take any chances.

She starts to walk back to her cruiser to radio for a truck when Malec yells something out the window that she doesn’t quite catch, but the revving of an engine has her turning in surprise and mild annoyance.

It also got her a face full of mud.

Which turns out isn’t mud at all.

The overwhelming fragrance of horse shit finally makes itself known and Nicole takes the 5 steps to Malec’s driver door to calm down (honestly something has to be wrong with her sense of smell today too).

Sort of.

She wipes what she can off her face, slowly, while Malec stares in some kind of fascinated horror. He’s also a little smug and she’s going to make sure she calls Ami Crawley. The only person at Crawley’s Towing who likes Nicole and _hates_ about 90% of the men in this town.

Nicole purposely sets her, now dirtied, hand on Malec’s car, “You are going to get a tow-truck or you can come with me to the station in handcuffs for assaulting an officer. Your choice.”

He starts to argue but Nicole slowly wipes her hand on the sleeve of his shirt and he shuts up quick.

“Crawley will be here shortly, have a nice day,” _dick head._

*

She's sitting at her desk, well not really her desk, she doesn't actually have her own just yet, and she feels like she can breathe again. The station is calm and after three showers she doesn't smell too badly.

Which is nice, she really hopes Waverly doesn't stop by.

Of course the quiet doesn't last long.

Mr. Irving comes in complaining about the kids around town. Mostly them coming into his yard and playing Pokemon GO, for the fifth time this week.

She wasn't even the closest officer to the door, but he is one of Mrs. Brimsby’s friends and she learned very early that she was the only one the elderly would talk to anymore.

She took his statement, _again_ , pushing aside her other work. She is also the only one who will take their complaints seriously. Or at least make an effort to do so.

Everything was fine, but he keeps going on and on and getting angrier.

Angry enough that he starts shouting and seconds later she stares at his dentures, soaking her other reports.

He keeps going, ignoring the fact that his teeth are no longer in his mouth, and that he is now spitting and slightly drooling. Nicole wonders for a moment if he actually even notices that he is missing his teeth.

He continues for another ten minutes, but gets angry that she is no longer paying attention he stops, grabs his teeth and leaves.

Nicole stares at her reports a while longer, wondering how many are ruined.

Deciding to ignore it for now, she grabs her empty coffee cup and heads toward the break room.

She sees Valerie Bents currently starting at the coffee pot, willing it to brew faster.

Neither say anything to each other, watching the coffee. Valerie pours herself a cup once it finishes and turns to pour Nicole a cup, but in line with her entire day, it’s not what Nicole gets.

Somehow the pot slips from Valerie’s grip and, in a small measure of mercy, the coffee spills all over her boots and the pot shatters as it hits the ground.

Nicole closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, completely ignoring the pathetic attempts of an apology coming from Valerie.

She grounds out an, “It's fine,” before turning and leaving the mess to Valerie.

 

*

Alexandra Gomez runs into her seconds after she leaves the station.

She's pretty sure the green crap all over her third extra uniform was dumped on her on purpose. Nicole can't really fault her for it though, she did make a mess in the corner store a few days ago.

One of the guys walks out and hands her a t-shirt, which is almost equally embarrassing because that means they all saw it.

This shirt comes close to being just as embarrassing, she knows she's tall but this shirt is ridiculous and she's swimming in it.

She walks to the park that's next to the station and finds herself an unoccupied picnic table.

Nicole slumps down on it, places her forehead on the table top, not caring what might be on it.

She doesn't know how much time passes before she hears a dull thunk on the table, Nicole only moves enough so that she can see what the disturbance is and she can't stop the tears from forming.

Someone dropped a goddamn bottle of chocolate milk in front of her.

And it’s Waverly.

And Waverly is grinning like the goddamn sun has finally shown itself after months of darkness.

And for fuck sakes she hates chocolate milk she just might cry.

But Waves is still smiling and happy and Nicole’s heart is beating way too fast.

She almost chugs the bottle in front of her but she catches a whiff of it first, her eyes widen and she turns to stare at Waverly.

Waverly winks. “A friend told me what your favorite drink is," she laughs, "Nedley stopped by for his dinner and told me you might need it after your day. Love the shirt by the way,” Waverly chuckles and Nicole doesn’t know whether to hide from embarrassment that Waverly has to know now that she didn’t at all want chocolate milk that one time or freak the fuck out in excitement because Waverly is flirting with her.

She is flirting right? That was flirting? Oh no she doesn't remember what flirting is. Wishful flirting?

Waverly walks away with a swing of her hips that is definitely not something that happens regularly, and yeah it was definitely flirting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking time to read this, I hope it brightened your day just a little!


	3. Oh No, Noooo.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicole blurts out things to Wynonna and continues to be the clumsiest person alive around Waverly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited for this you have no idea. Again, I never intended for this to be multi-chaptered so please forgive if it takes a while for more, if at all. I am in love with this chapter and it's basically because I love any and all Wynonna and Nicole interaction ok. Mrs. B pops up again too, I can't help it, I love her.

Nicole can see it now, she can see the physical resemblance between Waverly and Wynonna (they both really do have some top-shelf assets). She really wishes someone had told her they were related sooner. She might have saved herself the trouble of outing herself and her crush on Waverly in front of Wynonna…

“Hold up your Haughtyness, you’re telling me you don’t like chocolate milk?”

Nicole groans and resists the urge to slam her head against the desk she’s sitting at. Wynonna burst out of the Black Badge office with a wicked grin and Nicole has only known her for a few days, on a personal level, but she can already tell she’s in for some ribbing.

“Wynonna…” Waverly steps into her view and Nicole’s attention is immediately on her instead. She looks almost as embarrassed as Nicole, though Nicole is sure it’s because now she knows Waverly was talking about her. Which makes Nicole really wish she could call her sister right now and gush about it like this was her first crush. Waverly was talking about her, Waverly brought her up willingly to someone else (she’s going to completely ignore that it’s quite possible it was not in a flattering manner).

“Do you at least like chocolate?”

Nicole shrugs, her words lost because Waverly is smiling at her and she is trying so hard to be a functioning adult right now, but that shy smile and little finger wave thrown her way has her reeling. 

Once they’re gone she knows she’s going to look back on this and wonder what the hell is going on. She’s never been so distracted by someone before and it’s throwing her off her game. 

Wynonna continues her list of foodstuffs that she feels is absolutely necessary to like and Nicole manages, just barely, to follow along. Not that it means anything, she’s pretty sure that half the things listed she answered incorrectly but Waverly has been silently entertaining her this whole time so she doesn’t care.

Something inside the office catches Waverly’s attention, but before she leaves she winks at Nicole and Nicole breathes out, “holy shit.”

Which was her downfall, because Wynonna is still in front of her and there’s no way she misses that.

Wynonna pauses her rant about Nicole being blasphemous about food (she’s on her phone looking up pictures of things neither of them have eaten, Nicole doesn’t even know when that happened). There’s a second where she thinks Wynonna might blow it off as nothing, but after a few glances between the empty doorway and Nicole, Wynonna has the biggest shit-eating grin Nicole has ever seen.

“Haught for Waverly?”

Nicole can’t help the snort that accompanies the question, it is actually kind of funny, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She doesn’t know why she tries to deny it, there really isn’t any reason to do so.

“Dude,” is the only thing Wynonna says before Nicole is crumbling, she’s going to truly blame it on her sister for not calling her back. She needs someone to talk to about Waverly and Wynonna is totally offering, right? Right. 

She chews on her lip for a minute, trying to figure out how to explain whatever it is she feels for Waverly. She’s very well aware that she is in so deep and only after interacting with her twice now, if you could even call what has happened between them interacting. She’s pretty sure it’s just her making an ass of herself and Waverly being there to see it (if not the cause for it).

“Can you like, be in love with someone the second you meet them? Because I swear to you that’s what happened. She’s just there at the bar and it was my first day and I don’t know, I obviously lost my damn mind because I ordered a drink that I hate, but also just— milk at a bar really?— and she went out of her way to get it and I couldn’t tell her no? Can you tell her no? She’s just so...Waverly, and I’m a pretty damn useless lesbian when it comes to her, apparently.”

Nicole starts to fidget because that was way too much, she’s sure of it. Especially with the look Wynonna is giving her. Wynonna’s mouth is open like she meant to interrupt but she’s also staring at her in fascination.

She holds up her finger, telling Nicole to wait just a second, still trying to process all of it, when she finally speaks, “Uhhh, you know I was just teasing and now I kind of feel bad for not telling you—”

Nicole rolls her eyes, “I’m well aware she’s dating an asshole.”

Wynonna snorts, “Amongst many other names, but that’s not— so, Waverly’s my sister.”

There’s silence and then Nicole groans and rests her forehead on her desk, “Of course she is. Is it at all possible for you to forget the last five minutes? That would be great, thanks.”

Wynonna laughs, “Oh hell no, Haught-line bling, this is going to be remembered for all of time.”

“Please leave me to die in peace, I have made a fool of myself in front of everyone in this town by now. Goodbye, cruel world!”

“I’m sure there’s several more people who could stand to see you be a fool. In fact, I would greatly appreciate it. They’ll have someone else to talk about.” Wynonna’s grinning again and Nicole swears she’ll take all the teasing in the world for Wynonna at this point. 

She’s only gotten second-hand information about the Earps (now that she knows whol all of them are for fucks sake, this town really should use full names), but Wynonna’s at the center of it all and so far Nicole can’t fathom how wrong these backwater people are about these sisters. It would also probably put her in slight favor with Waverly, so yeah, she’ll totally make an idiot of herself to save Wynonna or Waverly a few days of peace from the town gossip.

She’s about to respond, but Waverly comes out again and this time Wynonna calls to her, loudly and over exaggerating, “Baby girl!” Nicole is kind of struck at the smile Waverly gives Wynonna. It’s indulgent but also strangely wondrous like Waverly still thinks none of this is real and Nicole really wants to hear their stories first-hand but for now she’ll settle for watching.

Only someone steps through the station doors and Nicole wants to groan, pout, and whine all a the same time because it’s Mrs. Brimsby, of course it is, and Wynonna immediately slams her feet to the ground (she had them resting on top of Nicole’s, but not at all Nicole’s, desk) and sits up straight.

“Hey Mrs. B! How’s the lizard?”

Nicole tries to shove her hand over Wynonna’s mouth but she somehow manages to forget that there’s a desk and a mountain of paperwork between them, so instead she bangs her hip on the desk and her elbow slams onto the top of it, half the papers fall and scatter on the ground. “Noooo...” Nicole let’s out a low whine, coming to term with the fact that she is no longer coordinated. 

Wynonna snorts and runs into the Black Badge office, cackling, while Waverly chuckles at Nicole’s misfortune, and steps around to help her while Mrs. Brimsby completely ignores the situation and informs Nicole, again, that Miss Fluffer Pollywinkton, is not  _ just _ a lizard. 

Nicole scrambles to help Waverly and completely misses the way Mrs. Brimsby and Wynonna (who had come back at some point, Nicole needs to take these blinders off) are watching. They’re both grinning when Waverly’s hand lingers far longer than necessary on Nicole’s when they reach for the same stack of papers. 

Waverly goes back into the Black Badge office with a squeeze to Nicole’s bicep and she forgets that Mrs. Brimsby is there for help, and just stares at her arm instead.

Mrs. Brimsby’s laughter brings her out of her stupor but when she looks up, both Wynonna and Mrs. B are staring at her with grins that scare her.

“Oh no…”

“Oh yes,” Wynonna exclaims giddily.

“Nooo,” Nicole whines again.

“Dear, you are incredibly hopeless when it comes to Waverly Earp,” Mrs. Brimsby says, patting Nicole on the cheek.

“I can’t believe I got to see that first hand, holy shit you weren't kidding, Haught potato, you’re a totally useless lesbian when it comes to my sister.” Wynonna grasps both of Nicole’s shoulders, “this is amazing. We need a plan.”

“What? A plan? For what? Why are we planning anything, I don’t like this, I refuse.” Nicole rambles, but the two women in front of her ignore her.

“Oh my poor dear, to get Waverly to see how much of an improvement you are to that man-child she calls a boyfriend.”

“Too right, Mrs. B! I knew I liked you for a reason!”

They start conspiring together and Nicole knows she’s doomed. She’s tempted to just walk straight into the Black Badge office, knowing full well that if Dolls is in there, he’ll have her hanged, and she’s totally counting on that. If her interactions with Waverly are any indication, whatever plan that is put in motion is bound to have dire effects and they definitely will not be in her favor.

“Can’t I just, you know, be myself?” She knows it’s the wrong thing to say as soon as the words leave her lips, any other person and maybe she could just pull it off, but her impeccable skill of making a fool of herself in front of Waverly leaves a lot of room for improvement.

Wynonna gestures towards Black Badge, where Waverly happens to bounce out of (seriously is it like a sixth sense?), making a beeline for Wynonna and Mrs. B and Nicole chokes on air, making her already red face worse. She breathes out “ok I see your point” or so she tries, but they both get the point and Waverly only makes her, now, coughing fit worse by worrying and Nicole really just needs to leave the general vicinity of the station.

Waverly Earp will be the death of her.

She can’t think of a better way to go  ~~_ (yes she can, because all of this involves the dressing down of her pride, ego, grace, and smoothness) _ ~~ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you lovelies for reading! Please feed and water yourselves today! ;3


End file.
